Winter Festival Art Exhibition Planned at St. Peter’s

(Cazenovia, NY – Feb. 2012) St. Peter’s Episcopal Church will host its 36th annual Winter Festival Art Exhibition Feb. 9 through 12 at 12 Mill St., Cazenovia. An opening night reception will be held from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. Feb. 9; show hours are Feb. 10 from noon to 6 p.m., Feb. 11 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Feb. 12 from noon to 3:30 p.m.

The event, sponsored by Cazenovia Arts, is free and open to the public.

For more information, call (315) 558-8310 or email BCW13035@gmail.com.

Munroe to be Showcased at Caz Library

Cazenovia Public Library news

(Cazenovia, NY – Feb. 2012) Until March 31, visitors to the Cazenovia Public Library Art Gallery can enjoy “Keeping Up Appearances,” the latest collection by local artist Elizabeth Cummings Monroe. There will be an artist’s reception Friday, Feb. 10, from 7 to 8:30 p.m. at the Cazenovia Public Library Art Gallery.

Monroe uses watercolor, inks and acrylic paint interchangeably. She begins a painting with transparent watercolor in order to achieve a luminous quality and then moves to ink and acrylic for opacity and contrast.

“My current body of work features my usual unconventional abstract style in which I have now incorporated the human figure,” Monroe said. “I am constantly mesmerized by the human body, and in the past I painted people in a more realistic style, a style that I do not particularly enjoy. Now, I have found a way to incorporate a hidden world into my abstractions. The addition of a figure or groups of figures in my painting gives an immediate focal point for my viewer, and the painting becomes a mystery, story or puzzle to solve.”

The Cazenovia Public Library is open from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. weekdays and from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturdays. Free transportation is available through CRIS-CAT for Cazenovia, Fenner and Nelson residents over 55 and ambulatory. Just call 655-0612 between 7 a.m. and 6 p.m. three to five days in advance. More information about this or other library events, call 655-9322 or visit cazenoviapubliclibrary.org.

Local Meat Delivery Service Launches Feb. 6

(Madison County, NY – Feb. 5, 2012) Side Hill Farmers, a cooperative of livestock farmers in Madison County, is launching a local-meat-delivery service in Central New York, where CNY residents can go on-line and order packages of the Cooperative’s own beef and pork.  Then, once a month, Side Hill Farmers will deliver the orders to central pick-up locations in communities in the Syracuse region.

Side Hill Farmers has developed a meat CSA to bring their locally-raised meat to Central New York consumers.  Many local-food devotees are familiar with vegetable CSAs (which stand for “Community Supported Agriculture”) wherein consumers buy shares in a farm’s production.

The Side Hill Farmers’ meat CSA is similarly structured, so that consumers buy shares of the Cooperative’s meat production.  Side Hill Farmers’ CSA Coordinator Sue Parker explains that “the meat shares are primarily beef, with pork as an option, all pasture-raised and natural.  We expect to be able to offer pasture-raised chicken in the spring.”  CSA members will also be able to order Madison-County-produced eggs and butter, as well as some other local farm goodies.

Getting meat through the Side Hill Farmers meat CSA is a very simple process.  On the Side Hill Farmers website (www.sidehillfarmers.com), customers select a monthly meat delivery package, pay online via PayPal, select the community they’d like their order delivered to, and then once a month, on a set date, the order is delivered to the hosting pick-up site in the selected community.

The Side Hill Farmers CSA officially launches on Monday Feb. 6; first deliveries will be made the second week of February.  Deliveries will initially be made to five area communities: Skaneateles, Fayetteville, Downtown Syracuse, Hamilton, and Cazenovia.  The meat CSA will soon expand to reach customers in Liverpool/Clay and SU/Westcott.

Five local businesses are partnering with Side Hill Farmers to serve as pick-up site hosts in each of the five communities.  In Fayetteville, CSA members will go to Papa Gallo’s to pick up their order; in Cazenovia, Circa Restaurant; in Downtown Syracuse, Empire Brewing; in Hamilton, the Colgate Inn; and in Skaneateles, the Sherwood Inn.

“These businesses are really supportive of local food, and are making space for our Cooperative and CSA members,” said Parker.

Canastota beef farmer and Side Hill Farmers’ Cooperative member Paul O’Mara says that the Cooperative wants to make a connection to consumers looking for more local, more known, sources of food, particularly meat.

“We’ve formed this Cooperative so that we as farmers can work together to bring our meat directly to the people in our area.  There is no middleman.  The food is going directly from us as farmers to the families who eat it.  Our CSA is for people who care where their meat comes from and how it’s raised, and who want to support the small farmers in their backyard.”

 

 

Barrigar, Mazengarb Kick off International Tour in Cazenovia

(Cazenovia, NY –  Feb. 3, 2012) Live Space Entertainment, in association with Cazenovia College, presents SAMMY award-winning acoustic guitar standouts Loren Barrigar and Mark Mazengarb live on stage at Catherine Cummings Theatre, 16 Lincklaen St., in Cazenovia, on Saturday, Feb. 11, at 8 p.m.

Cazenovia-based band The Unstoppables will open the show.

Doors open at 7 p.m., and a cash bar is available. General admission is $15, Students, $5. Tickets are available at the door, by calling 315-655-STAR, at Cazenovia Jewelry and at Sound Garden in Armory Square.

Barrigar, a native of Central New York, and Mazengarb, from New Zealand, have teamed up to form an incredibly dynamic finger-picking guitar duo, winning the hearts of music fans across Upstate New York. They have now gotten the attention of fans and festivals around the globe.

After their Cazenovia “Bon Voyage” show, they head to the International Folk Alliance Music Conference in Memphis, Tenn., and then to the Cordes Sensibles Guitar Festival in Bordeaux, France. They follow that with a concert in Kaisersesch, Germany. Later this summer they will again headline at the Chet Atkins Festival in Nashville.

Both Barrigar and Mazengarb have been heavily influenced by the finger-style picking style of guitar greats such as Chet Atkins, Tommy Emmanuel and John Knowles.

Visit www.cazenovia.edu/theatre for more information about events at the Catherine Cummings Theatre at Cazenovia College.

 

Reason

DCF 1.0

 

Life ring at the sewage treatment plant? Yuck.

From Here & Back Again

By Jim Coufal

(Cazenovia, NY – Jan. 2012) Like all my columns, I write this one for a “reason,” which is to be a kind of a break from my usual commentary, as a “pause that refreshes” (me). I’ve also just made a statement in explanation of the column, another way to define “reason.” Finally, I hope what I have said is a rational ground or motive for the column, a significant meaning of the word “reason.”

My intent is to share what others have said about reason, and reasoning, over the years. I chose reason as the subject because I do not think that there is enough use of it in the world today.

To begin, here is what Buddha had to say:

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

Another great religious and political figure, Mohandas Gandhi said:

“An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.”

This is reminiscent of the old saw, “The opinion of a thousand fools is still foolish”.

Gandhi also said, “I reject any religious doctrine that does not appeal to reason and is in conflict with morality.”

This can be seen as an acid test of what to believe, whether from tradition, doctrine, theology, common sense or science.

Founding father and major author of the Declaration of Independence and contributor to our Constitution, Thomas Jefferson, said, “Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear. In his own words, he described how he lived this thought; “I was bold in the pursuit of knowledge, never fearing to follow truth and reason to whatever results they led, and bearding every authority which stood in their way.”

Truth and reason do not always lead us to what we want to hear.

Some make their point with humor:

“The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept” (George Carlin).

But the point is still valid.

Some question the reason of things:

“They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for one’s country. But in modern war, there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason” (Ernest Hemingway).

Such people may be called muckrakers, whistle-blowers, skeptics or dissenters. They are often called un-patriotic.

Some see reason as the way to exploring:

“Although nature commences with reason and ends in experience it is necessary for us to do the opposite, that is to commence with experience and from this to proceed to investigate the reason” (Leonardo da Vinci).

Not everyone sees reason as valuable to their interests. Martin Luther warned:

“Faith must trample under foot all reason, sense, and understanding.”

Pope Pius IX in 1846 said, “Unbridled license to think, speak, and write” resulted in a “filthy medley of errors.” Voltaire, who said, “Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense,” summed up religious worries about the use of reason.

Another great American skeptic, Thomas Paine, said, “Reason obeys itself, and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it,” believing that, “The most formidable weapon against errors of every kind is reason.”

Despite the power of and great need for reason, many believe like C.S. Lewis that, “Reason is the natural order of truth; but imagination is the origin of meaning,” or Ralph Waldo Emerson, who said, “Trust your instinct to the end, though you can render no reason.”

Such people think faith, instinct, imagination are higher in authority than reason and sufficient to believe and act upon.

For myself, I agree with the Dalai Lama:

“The ultimate authority must always rest with the individual’s own reason and critical analysis.”

Jim Coufal of Cazenovia is a part-time philosopher and full-time observer of global trends. He can be reached at madnews@m3pmedia.com.

Local Students Earn Honors

Your Scholars

Local students named to Springfield College dean’s list

Springfield College has named the following local residents to the dean’s list for academic excellence for the fall 2011 term.

Daniel Patane of Canastota. Daniel is studying Undeclared.

Logan Aikins of Sherburne. Logan is studying Applied Exercise Science.

News from SUNY Potsdam

SUNY Potsdam Students Earn Spots on President’s List

The State University of New York at Potsdam recently named more than 900 students to the President’s List for the Fall 2011 semester in recognition of their academic excellence.

Among the local students who made the SUNY Potsdam President’s List were:

Allison Forth of Canastota whose major is Childhood/Early Child Education

Corey Hopkins of Canastota whose major is Music Education

Kali Jarvis of Canastota whose major is Childhood/Early Child Education

Rhimmon Simchy-Gross of Canastota whose major is Music Performance

Mary Whitcombe of Canastota whose major is Childhood/Early Child Education

Robert Taube of Cazenovia whose major is Music Education

Emilie Weinheimer of Cazenovia whose major is Psychology

Cortney Mayo of Hamilton whose major is Speech Communication

Caleigh Tuttle of Hamilton whose major is Theatre

Timothy Simmons of Sherburne whose major is Psychology

To achieve the honor of being on the President’s List, each student must have satisfactorily completed 12 numerically-graded semester hours with a minimum grade point average of 3.5.

Local Students Named to Clarkson University Dean’s List

The following students were named to the Dean’s List for the fall 2011 semester at Clarkson University.

Beth A. Schneider, a senior majoring in civil engineering from Bridgeport.

Matthew R. Ager, a junior majoring in engineering and management from Canastota.

Tristan R. Jones, a freshman majoring in chemical engineering from Canastota.

Jeffrey R. Merrell, a freshman majoring in civil engineering from Canastota.

Michael R. Tornatore, a sophomore majoring in innovation and entrepreneurship from Canastota.

Michael A. Blanchard, a junior majoring in chemical engineering from Cazenovia.

Ryan J. Eklund, a freshman majoring in aeronautical engineering from Chittenango.

Danielle K. Cuddeback, a freshman majoring in pre-physical therapy/psychology from DeRuyter.

David E. Revette, a senior majoring in civil engineering from DeRuyter.

Andrea M. Riedman, a sophomore majoring in civil engineering from Kirkville.

Nicole M. Verone, a freshman majoring in engineering studies from Kirkville.

Raeanne J. Clabeaux, a freshman majoring in university studies from New Woodstock.

Molly E. Ogden, a sophomore majoring in history/interdisciplinary social sciences from Earlville.

Mallory J. Carhart, a senior majoring in interdisciplinary social sciences from Hamilton.

Heather H. Munz, a senior majoring in biology from Hubbardsville.

Loren J. McNamara, a senior majoring in civil engineering from Leonardsville.

Rebecca R. Kirley, a senior majoring in global supply chain management from Madison.

Colin Maykish, a junior majoring in software engineering from Sherburne.

Dean’s List students must achieve a minimum 3.25 grade-point average and also carry at least 14 credit hours.

Local Students Named Clarkson University Presidential Scholars

The following students were named Presidential Scholars for the fall 2011 semester at Clarkson University.

Ellen M. Heenan, a junior majoring in engineering and management from Bridgeport.

Thomas F. Wilkowski, a senior majoring in electrical engineering from Bridgeport.

Alexandra B. Cameron, a freshman majoring in chemical engineering from Cazenovia.

Josh Bunce, a freshman majoring in civil engineering from Chittenango.

Sean P. Shea, a freshman majoring in aeronautical engineering/mechanical engineering from Chittenango.

Presidential Scholars must achieve a minimum 3.80 grade-point average and carry at least 14 credit hours.

Evans Named to Sacred Heart University’s Dean’s List

Kiley Evans of Cazenovia was named to the fall 2011 Dean’s List at Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, Conn. To receive this honor, a student must achieve a 3.6 grade average, based on a 4.0 scale.

 

Cazenovia Village Announces February Meetings

Feb. 6, 2012, 7 p.m.: Village Board meeting to include Clark Street bridge bid document review, Carpenter’s Barn bid document review (if available), update on Riverside Drive project and schedule 2012-13 budget work session(s).

Feb. 13, 7:30 p.m.: Planning Board meeting to include an addition to National Grid building on Clark Street and Jim Griffin at 5 Ledyard Ave. addition of east side entry roof – portico.

Feb. 27, 7 p.m.: Historic Preservation/Architectural Advisory Review Committee meeting.

Locals Recognized for Helping Animals

Kime Hardware Presentation

 

Wanderers’ Rest Humane Association Executive Director Glenn Ivers and volunteer Joyce Leinberger present a plaque to Kime Hardware Store Manager Patrick Kime. Kime Hardware in Canastota donated warehouse space to store and distribute 10 tons of dog food recently donated to the shelter.

Wanderers’ Rest Humane Association Executive Director Glenn Ivers presents a plaque to Doug Tudman, director of sales and marketing for Isadore Rapasadi & Sons of Canastota, whose truck shipped 10 tons of donated dog food from Tech Packaging Warehouse in Berwick, Penn., to Canastota.

By Martha E. Conway

(Town of Lenox, Canastota, NY – Jan. 2012) Joyce Leinberger grew up in Canastota, and after returning home in July, she brought with her animal advocate connections she had made while living in New Jersey.

“I made a friend there who worked for Del Monte – [Donations Coordinator] Carole Slade,” Leinberger said. “I worked with them to get dog food for people who couldn’t afford it.”

When people fall on hard times and can’t afford to feed their pets, those animals frequently wind up in shelters, said Wanderers’ Rest Humane Association Executive Director Glenn Ivers. Helping people feed their pets in times of need helps those animals remain in their homes.

“I asked Carole if there were any distribution centers nearby,” Leinberger said. “The closest was southeast of Wilkes Barre, Penn. She asked me, ‘What do you need?’ They had 15 pallets.”

“But we had to go get it, store it and find those who needed it,” Ivers said, adding that he was skeptical about the effort, which seemed to require so much coordination.

According to Ivers, they really wanted to coordinate the effort with the holidays when people are especially strapped for cash. He credited Leinberger’s coordination efforts and Canastota’s Patrick Kime of Kime Hardware and Isadore Rapasadi & Son’s Sales and Marketing Director Doug Tudman for their unhesitating assistance in the successful completion of the mission.

“Kime’s and Rapasadi’s really came through,” Ivers said, explaining that they were lucky to have Rapasadi’s trucks returning – empty – from that area after making their deliveries there. “Eighteen different agencies received a quantity of the food, and several church pantries have added a dog food section. Thousands of families and their dogs got a little something extra in their stocking this year.”

Agencies Benefiting from Del Monte’s Donation

The 10 tons of first-quality Del Monte dog food brands (Ol’ Roy, Kibbles ‘N Bits, Nature’s Recipe) were distributed during the holidays to:

Angels of Fur Canine Rescue of Central New York; Cazenovia Veterinary Hospital; Dog Daze Pet Food Pantry, Cicero; Dorothy’s Pet Grooming, Canastota; Hamilton Veterinary Hospital; Herkimer County Humane Society; Humane Society of Rome; Humane Society of Syracuse; Kiwanis Pet Food Pantry, Syracuse; Pit Bull Rescue of Syracuse; Rescue Me Purebred K-9 Rescue, Oneida; Spay and Neuter Syracuse Pet Food Pantry, Syracuse; SPCA of Chenango County; St. Lucy’s Church Pet Food Pantry, Syracuse; St. Matthew’s Church Pet Food Pantry, East Syracuse; Stevens-Swan Humane Society, Utica; Village Veterinary Hospital, Canastota; and Wanderers’ Rest Humane Association, Canastota.

Editor’s Note: Wanderers’ Rest Humane Association is an open-admission shelter dedicated to providing the highest-quality care and compassion for the animals entrusted to them while leading the community in creating a more humane society. The Association contracts with Madison County to undertake the housing of stray and impounded dogs picked up by the dog control officers of the various towns and municipalities within the county. The largely volunteer-supported organization always is in need of additional hands. For more information on volunteering or adopting a cat or dog, call (315) 697-2796.

Morrisville State Women to ‘Play 4Kay’ Feb. 11

By Brandy Thurston, Director of Sports Information

(Morrisville, NY- Feb. 2012) The Morrisville State College women’s basketball team has joined the “Play 4Kay” team in an effort to raise breast cancer awareness and funds for the Kay Yow Cancer Fund in support of cancer research, Saturday, Feb. 11 as they host Cazenovia College at 3 p.m.

Donations for the Mustangs efforts can be made online through their team page at www.play4kay.org/morrisville.

The Kay Yow Cancer fund partnered with the Women’s Basketball Coaches Association (WCBA) and The V Foundation to be a part of finding an answer in the fight against women’s cancers by raising funds for scientific research and unifying people for a common cause. Additional information on the organization can be found at www.play4kay.org.

As part of a continuing community service program within the athletic department, student-athletes are involved in a variety of service programs, benefiting both the campus and surrounding communities.

Last year the Mustangs were involved in more than 20 community service programs in the local and surrounding communities, logging over 1,200 hours of service.

For additional information regarding the Play 4 Kay event, contact the women’s basketball office at 315-684-6749.

 

Project Café Seeks Winter Festival Information

(Cazenovia, NY – Feb. 2012) Cazenovia’s annual Winter Festival will be held Feb. 9 to 11 this year. Project CAFÉ will once again be compiling the program for the weekend and they would like to be sure that all community events are included accurately.

If you are sponsoring an event that weekend, please email a brief description including times and location to them at projectcafe.caz@gmail.com or call 655-9380.

The students will also be organizing the annual WinterFest Talent show, with proceeds to benefit the community service scholarship fund and they are looking for award prizes for the show. If you are interested in donating a prize or would be willing to provide one on a buy one/donate one basis, please contact them at the number or email above.

Lost Hikers Rescued from Park

(Town of Fenner, NY – Jan. 2012) A few tense moments ended in skilled rescue at Chittenango Falls State Park on State Route 13 Jan. 28. Sheriff’s deputies and state park police received a call reporting two hikers lost in the park just before 6 p.m.

Upon arrival, Deputies communicated with the Madison County 911 Center to get a better location of the hikers, as 911 Center personnel were in contact with one of the hikers via cell phone. Deputies drove their vehicles in the area with their emergency lights on until the hikers could see the flashes of the emergency lights, and made their way to the side of a sharp, steep hill that parallels Chittenango Creek, just north of the main park entrance.

Deputies established communication with the pair and provided instructions so they would remain safe. Chittenango, along with North Chittenango, Cazenovia and Lincoln Fire Departments responded when the call for a rope rescue was issued.

An aerial ladder truck from Chittenango Fire Department was deployed; rescuers extended the ladder over the very fast flowing creek. Rope rescue personnel crossed the creek and climbed up the hill on the other side, guiding the hikers across the ladder and to a waiting ambulance.

The hikers, Brian Abramowitz of Commack and Jenna Goldberg of Jericho, both 22, were evaluated on the scene by Cazenovia Area Volunteer Ambulance Corp due to their prolonged exposure. They were not transported to a hospital as both refused further medical treatment.

The hikers had been trying to find their way out of the park for nearly three hours when they called 911 for help.

John Ball is undersheriff of Madison County.

Playing Catch-Up

 

Cazenovia Curmudgeon

By Donald Krueger

(Cazenovia, NY- Jan. 2012) Speaking of which, you hear the one about the three tomatoes out for a walk? Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato, Baby Tomato. Baby Tomato keeps lagging behind. Finally, Papa Tomato goes back and gives Baby Tomato a big squeeze and says to him, “Ketchup!”

I know; I’m sorry. Lame joke aside, I’m playing “ketchup” with all the odds and ends I left unattended during the past “holiday season.” Among them would be my own letter to Santa Claus. We know he doesn’t read all those our gullible but hopeful kids send him – see the 1947 movie “Miracle on 34th Street” – but keep’em coming; the U.S. Postal Service needs the business.

By now I figure Santa has time to read mine … if I can get it to him in a fake “important document” envelop, like that of our junk mail.

And if my computer whiz daughter can discover just which tax haven no-extradition-treaty spot in the world he’s settled into in his retirement years. You and the kids didn’t know? It’s been a few years now. Outsourced all production to China. Shut down the North Pole operations, except for the mail drop for letters that’ll go nowhere. Fired the elves, no severance pay or retirement benefits, of course.

So here goes: Dear Santa Claus (or do you prefer ‘St. Nicholas’ these days? How about Santa Claws? Santa Clous?

These last two are from among letters second-graders here in Cazenovia, New York’s, public school. A class assignment. Every year since forever. A tradition. Publicized yearly in the local weekly newspaper: “Published as submitted, spelling errors and all.”

Apparently, their teachers are not afraid of evaluation. Union, I guess. It would appear – see below – that in the Race to the Top, Cazenovia schools are running in reverse.

For example: “Is Roto the Red nose randeer rell? Hoe do you noe woe is being noty or not? Woe dooe youi stay warm well griving to hoses? Dooe you get presus an some grams? Merry Christmas. Love, ….”

Or, “How are the elves douing Santa Claus and Mis Claus making lats of shoogr cookes for you and for her two. And the elves to and doow you have lots of presints and I would Please have a snoboard please Santa Claeus pleaus. To Santa Cloas From…”

No Child Left Behind? We need your help, Santa. You’re still chairman of the board. You still have a lot of clout. An aura of good will. And I’m sure a lot of guilt for the scam you’ve been running all these years – since the Dutch settled Manhattan Island. Bernie Madoff in a red suit?

Fortunately, you’ve had a good PR – Clement Clarke Moore back in 1823 – and a makeover, not very flattering; however, by Thomas Nast, running from 1863 to 1886 – bishop to elf to jolly fat man, from riding a donkey to flying the skies.

Still, a scam is a scam. And Dec. 25 is not your birthday. You’re safe in your sanctuary. You’ve enough money to last you for a couple more centuries. Beach blanket bingo will get boring after a while.

And our kids have all the electronic gizmos and gadgets they’ll ever need forever. They’ve everything but, well, an education. Schools are failing. You read it in the “Times” and the “Journal.” You see it in those second-grade letters.

So, Santa, off with the excess weight and the beard. Lose the reindeer. Get back on your white horse. Our kids are as bad off as that baby in the boiling bathwater and the students in the pickle barrels combined.

You saved them. Save our children (see Tristram P. Coffin’s “The Book of Christmas Folklore”). You ended the famine. Well, there’s a famine in our land, too; a famine of learning … and a plague of cute.

For a start, before the next it’s-not-your-birthday holiday season, you can deliver a big bag full of children’s dictionaries to Cazenovia’s second-graders, with some adult dictionaries for their teachers. And a bunch of spelling guides. All printed on paper, mind you.

Experts say no computers in classrooms until sixth grade. You might want to fund summer professional development classes – in English and writing – for the second-grade teachers. They may need a little persuasion, but Black Pete, Berchta and Knecht Rupert can take care of that (see Coffin).

As for classes, you’ll remember you were said to be loved of young children, some said inordinately so. In this day and age, that can be a problem for your “associates” in the malls. You know, little children sitting on the laps of older men disguised with fake beards and promising them all sorts of fun things … if they are “good.” Gotta have classes in appropriate behavior for them.

And background checks.

Speaking of “good,” there is, of course, it’s opposite, “bad.” And “naughty or nice.” There was a time when these words meant something. Now it seems as if anything goes, yet the goodies keep coming.

You should have ways to ensure kinds know, and practice, the good and the ice and are rewarded for it.

Those not nice, not good, don’t get to sit on “your” lap, and can look forward to a  lump of coal or bag of ashes under the holiday tree. It won’t take them long to learn; it’s called “behavioral conditioning” … like what goes on in Sunday schools.

Speaking of which, some say you’re the leader of what they call the “War on Christmas,” others that you are “a form of Antichrist.” Then there is in the First Amendment and the “Wall of Separation.” Probably best for you to take a course between the two extremes. Leave the bishop’s stuff and the red suit and white beard in the closet – you’ll have lost weight, anyway.

Find for yourself and your associates a new, modern uniform, subdued enough not to frighten kids and their parents or atheists and secular humanists. Perhaps the classic schoolteacher costume: tweed jacket with leather elbow patches, gray flannel slacks, open collar dark shirt, brown loafers…

Whatever, the important thing is to use what means you can command to get kids to accept and appreciate learning, to work – as in schoolwork – their way out of the cute-and-feel-good syndrome.

You will have our support, and here in Cazenovia, New York, we will be looking forward to this year’s ‘tis-the-season letters from second-graders to the new, but lovable Teacher Claus … although, if they, they letters, are not cute, they may not be printed in the local paper.

There goes Ms. Feel-Good.

Donald W. Krueger of Cazenovia is a retired professor and active contrarian. Readers can email him at madnews@m3pmedia.com.